LAUGH LINES

Those Lucky Dogs: ‘A company has come out with a new kind of dog biscuit. They say it’ll help get rid of your dog’s bad breath. . . . That will work real well . . . especially when the dog washes it down by drinking out of the toilet.” (Jay Leno)

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Split Ends: “The marriage of [‘Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?”] bride Darva Conger and Rick Rockwell is officially kaput. The grounds? Conger says she wasn’t told details of Rockwell’s background. . . . You know, things like . . . his name.” (Daily Scoop)

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Bundle of Joy: “John Travolta and Kelly Preston welcomed their second child, a daughter, into the world recently. It was a ‘quiet birth,’ in which the delivery room is kept as quiet as possible. According to Travolta’s religious beliefs, any negative sounds or experiences may have a negative effect on the child later in life. In that case, they better keep the kid away from dad’s old ‘Welcome Back, Kotter’ videos.” (Ira Lawson)

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Taxing Situation: “New York’s commuter tax was ruled unconstitutional. For the last few years, commuters had to pay a tax to work in Manhattan. Mayor Rudy Guiliani has a lot of nerve charging a cover and then taking away the nude dancers.” (Argus Hamilton)

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