LAUGH LINES

Suspicious Minds: China issued a rebuttal denying everything in the Cox Report point by point. “Then I realized, they had the Cox Report before we did--they’ve been working on this thing for a week!” (Jay Leno)

Suspicious Minds II: “Don’t kid yourself, these Chinese know everything. I bet you they even know why Hillary’s staying with Bill.” (David Letterman)

Silly Science: A study on cell phone dangers has reopened a debate that began in 1993 when a Florida man went on “Larry King Live” and alleged cellular phones caused his wife’s brain cancer. “To which King exclaimed, ‘I like toast.’ ” (Jon Stewart)

Changing Channels: Sources say that next season “Ally McBeal” will have more nudity. “In fact, Calista Flockhart has already hired a stunt pencil.” (Rudolph J. Cecera)

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Chris Pina’s Essential

List of the Day

Overheard at the Cannes Film Festival:

* “That was the best independent film made for $81 million I’ve ever seen.”

* “Loved the film--hated the subtitles.”

* “Jar Jar Binks was drunk and all over Sharon Stone again.”

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.