LAUGH LINES
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Peace Work: Rejecting a cease-fire proposal for Kosovo, President Clinton said, “We will not accept a phony peace.” “ ‘Bad enough we got a phony marriage, we gotta draw the line somewhere.’ ” (Jay Leno)
Campaign Hopes: Experts in Baltimore say they’ve isolated a gene that can grow bone and cartilage. “GOP presidential candidate Lamar Alexander has hired them to see if they can find a gene that manufactures charisma.” (Bob Mills)
Moving On: Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra are getting divorced. “What? No! If those two devoted, well-adjusted kids can’t make it, what chance do the rest of us have?” (Alex Kaseberg)
On the Road Again: Bob Dylan and Paul Simon said they’ll be touring together this summer. “Actually, Paul said they’re touring. We’re not exactly sure what Bob said.” (Daily Scoop)
*
The Essential
David Letterman
Rejected “Star Wars” characters:
10. Oprah the Winfrey.
9. 10-10-321, the Telephone Droid.
8. Tae Bo.
5. Bobadan Milosevic.
4. R2-Deepak Chopra.
2. Obi Wan Jacobi and Meyers.
1. Star Jones.
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