A Personal Tragedy Made Her an Activist : Support: The founder of the Whittier-Rio Hondo AIDS Project lost her son to acquired immune deficiency syndrome.

SOUTHEAST AREA — One memory still makes Doris Wahl wince. She was helping in her church’s Sunday school when the children were asked what should be done about the AIDS problem.

“Put them all on an island and let them die,” one youngster volunteered. “They deserve it.”

Wahl, whose son had acquired immune deficiency syndrome, left in shock and anger.

An outspoken and active member of the Whittier community, no one but her closest friend and family members knew that her son was dying. She endured his illness in virtual seclusion, a choice she felt she had to make given the stigma that surrounds the disease.

Three years ago, when he was 27, Christopher Wahl died of AIDS.

Today, Doris Wahl wants to give others facing what she faced a different opportunity. As co-founder of the Whittier-Rio Hondo AIDS Project, she is helping to run a support group for people living with HIV, AIDS patients and their friends and family.

Michael Weinstein, president of the AIDS Health Care Foundation, said Wahl’s group is the first of its kind in the Southeast area.

Services are available in Long Beach and some in Pasadena, but little in between, Weinstein said. The support group, which has been meeting once a week since April, now has about 20 members.

And word is spreading quickly, Wahl said. “We had six new ones last Monday.”

When the Whittier-Rio Hondo AIDS Project was formed six months ago, 151 cases of AIDS had been reported in the Whittier Health District, which encompasses La Habra Heights, Whittier, Santa Fe Springs, Pico Rivera and La Mirada. Today there are 170, an increase of more than 12%.

The increase mirrors growth in reported AIDS cases throughout the county. Since 1981, 15,616 people have been found to have AIDS in Los Angeles County, said Nicole Russo, spokeswoman for AIDS Project L.A. Of those, 11,252 patients have died. Since January, 1,502 new cases have been reported, an increase of 7% over new cases reported last year.

And the numbers only take into account full-blown AIDS cases, Wahl said. It doesn’t begin to identify the number of people testing positive for the HIV virus.

The support group, which is led by a trained counselor, meets Monday nights at the Los Angeles Centers for Alcohol and Drug Abuse in Santa Fe Springs. To meet the needs of its members, it is split into three parts for half the meeting time, including one section just for women. The rest of the time, the group spends together.

People come to the group at different emotional stages, but the idea is to share and learn from each other’s experiences, Wahl said.

John Puryear, for example, has had AIDS for four years. Although he has good days and bad days, he looks healthy, vigorous and relaxed. Quick to laugh and willing to talk, he joined the group to help allay the fears of people just finding out they are HIV-positive.

“I wanted to share some insight with some people, help some people with whatever they need,” he said. But he didn’t always feel that way.

Before he came to Whittier, the 30-year-old accountant did not tell anyone that he had AIDS. The son of a prominent, politically active doctor in Washington, Puryear felt that he couldn’t join an AIDS organization or have a social life for fear of encountering someone his family knew. People still ostracize the families of people with AIDS, he said. “I didn’t want my family exposed to that.”

Puryear made his way across the country, eventually settling in Whittier. Through the group, he has found friends and a surrogate family.

“I didn’t have a life back there,” he said. “This is the only place I can be me.”

And the only place he feels comfortable talking about the issues he faces.

Discussions of death and dying, or funeral arrangements, that people with AIDS may need to talk about, are often difficult for family members.

When his family found out that he has AIDS, Puryear said, one sister with whom he had always been close began pulling away.

“She doesn’t want to get any closer,” he said. “It’s too painful.”

Wahl saw that in her own family. Christopher’s brothers and sisters sometimes ask why they didn’t know this or that about their brother’s illness. “I tell them, ‘I told every one of you,’ ” she said. “But it was something they didn’t want to deal with.”

Despite the issues that come up, the support group is anything but somber.

“We don’t want to come in and be real serious all the time,” she said. Once a month, the group gathers for a party at someone’s house.

“We hang out together, we’re supportive of each other,” Puryear said. “We call and check on each other.”

In addition to running the support groups, the Whittier-Rio Hondo AIDS Project provides training courses for volunteers who want to help AIDS patients, whether it is getting groceries or mowing the lawn.

One mother called from across the country, frantic to find someone who could help her daughter who has AIDS and no transportation, Wahl said. The group assigned a buddy to help out.

The group is also organizing speakers to go to schools and community groups. Education is a tremendous concern, she said.

“I still feel people are afraid to be near a person with AIDS,” she said. “They think it’s going to jump out and jump on them. Even when we’re educated, we still have fears.”

The project is trying to obtain grant money to continue its growth. So far, it has received about $1,500 in start-up grants from a local church and the Whittier City Council. Its offices are in space lent by the First United Methodist Church.

This organization will give people a chance to see AIDS patients out in the community, Wahl said. “Let people see and talk to them and see they’re just regular folks.”

In the end, that is the message Wahl most wants for people to receive.

“I know in my heart I’m not the only mother in Whittier who has lost a son or daughter to AIDS,” she said. “If you looked on the outside of me, (people see) I’m successful, I have four kids, I go to church, I couldn’t possible have a gay son,” she said. “But there is no family that is not at risk.”

MEETINGS

The Whittier-Rio Hondo AIDS Project meets Mondays at 7:30 p.m. at the Los Angeles County Alcohol and Drug Abuse Center, 11769 Telegraph Road in Santa Fe Springs. For information, call (310) 698-3850.

Literature on AIDS is available at Whittier-Rio Hondo AIDS Project, which has 20 members in its support group.