Years Apart Make Celebration Sweeter : Mother’s Day: Mom plans the first observance with her daughter, 19, who was given up for adoption as an infant.

Today is the first Mother’s Day that Camarillo resident Kathie Wilson will spend with her 19-year-old daughter.

When Wilson was 16 years old, she gave up her baby after being told that the child would be placed in a fine home. Wilson thought it was the best decision at the time.

But she could not stop thinking about her daughter. Wilson, who later married the girl’s father and now has three other children, tried to contact her daughter several times through the adoption agency but was stonewalled.

Finally, Wilson hired an agency that specializes in finding adopted children. Within two weeks, Marlen Worsham, now a student at San Diego State University, was located.

The mother and daughter were reunited last fall and have tried to spend as much time as possible getting to know each other. On Saturday, Worsham arrived in Camarillo to spend Mother’s Day with her newly found family.

“I always grew up thinking about my real mother,” Worsham said. “I wanted to meet her, but I never thought it would happen. Seeing her has been unbelievable, like a dream.

“My mother is the most beautiful person I know. It makes me sad that I couldn’t spend all those years with her.”

Wilson said that for years she wished she could have taken back her decision to put her daughter up for adoption.

“I was scared,” she said. “I didn’t have anywhere to go, and I was constantly told I couldn’t be a good mother. So I gave her up.”

Wilson said her parents would not allow her to marry the child’s father, Ron Wilson--now a wrestling coach and science teacher at Oxnard High School--even though the two had been longtime sweethearts.

She said that because she is white and Ron is black, family members and friends had a hard time accepting the relationship.

“It was only 1972 at the time,” she said. “And Camarillo was a very small town.”

So when Wilson became pregnant, she was sent to a special home in Santa Barbara for expectant teen-agers. There, social workers told her that she was unfit to take care of the baby because she had not finished school and had no way of supporting a child, Wilson said.

“I was told that to really show that I loved my child was to give her up,” Wilson said. “They said after it was done, I could forget all about it and go back and live my life as if it never happened.”

When Wilson turned 18, she married Ron. In addition to Worsham, they have two teen-agers and an 11-month-old baby.

“No matter how many children I had, I knew none would replace the first,” Wilson said. “I couldn’t just forget about her.”

Worsham, who grew up in San Jose, said every birthday and Mother’s Day she would think about her biological mother.

“On my birthday, I wondered if she ever thought of me anymore,” Worsham said. “I wondered if she had other children to celebrate Mother’s Day with. The older I got, the more I wanted to see her.”

But Worsham said she did not know how to go about finding Wilson. Also, she was afraid that looking for her biological mother would insult her adoptive parents. So she kept the longing to see her mother to herself.

Then one evening in October, she received a phone call at her dorm room from Wilson.

“She just said: ‘I’m your mother,’ ” Worsham said. “I freaked out. I screamed and dropped the phone. I couldn’t talk to her, the words would not come out.”

Later, Wilson arranged for Worsham to travel to Camarillo and meet the family.

“I’ve got such a big family now,” Worsham said. “Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, birthdays. I’m going to be broke all the time,” she joked.

Worsham said she hopes to live with the family next fall and attend Ventura College. She said that although her adoptive father has given her his blessing, her adoptive mother is not happy about the reunion.

Nevertheless, Worsham said: “I feel more complete now. It’s like a burden has been lifted. I now know who I am.”

Wilson said she is happy her entire family will be together for Mother’s Day.

“This day is going to be so much more special,” Wilson said. “It’s like the whole circle has come together.”