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10 Hollywood Alibis for Low-Rated Series
1. Producer: “Nobody knew we were on. The network didn’t give us any promotion.”
2. Network Executive: “That may seem like a low rating (66th) but actually it represents a 35% increase over what we had in that time period last year.”
3. Producer: “If my series were on (a rival network) it would be a hit.”
4. Producer: “I begged the network not to give me that timeslot. Cosby would fail there.”
5. Star (to critics): “I hope you’re happy, taking food from the mouths of my children, my wife, my father.”
6. Writer: “The critics rapped my script, but it isn’t the one I wrote. The network censors emasculated it.”
7. Producer: “My series has pastel colors, rock music, smart lighting. But they’re never satisfied. Now those (expletive deleted) critics are demanding stories.’
8. Network Executive: “We’re doing a lot better than people think. The trouble is, Nielsen fouled up the ratings system, so now it’s impossible to get good numbers.”
9. Network Executive: “If America doesn’t understand (the show then it’s America’s problem.”
10. Star: “I told my producer it was a lousy script, and he said, ‘What do you know? You’re just an actor.’ ”
SOURCE: Dave Kaufman, “On All Channels,” Daily Variety
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