Christmas Rites Require Rousing Ritual of Rhyme

DEAR SANTA:

Here’s our annual Christmas greeting

To the folks whom we’ve been meeting

At parties, fetes both dull and glitzy.

Some serious people. Some quite ditzy.

Some names have not been named before.

For others, this time is an earned encore.

But first a warning, gentle reader:

If your name is not a repeater,

Blame the moderate skills of this amateur rhymer

That keep you from being a second-timer.

Cheers MOCA’s Koshalek and LACMA’s Powell

Pictures of success. And now please tell

Our best to Marcia Weisman and Doug Cramer.

The fund-raising Jane Nathanson (let’s duplicate and frame her).

In fact, let’s gild each Hollywood Lili.

Tomlin, Zanuck, Tartikoff. Also Brown, as in Willie.

Hoteliers Helen Chaplin, Larry Lawrence, Jacques Camus.

As restaurateur Nicky Blair would say--here’s to youse.

Cheers “cutters”--Yuki, Julius, “Joe-Say,”

Hail Kathryn Klinger, the Aidas--Thibiant and Gray.

Placido Domingo, Bunny Wrather, CTG’s Bobby Fryer.

The A. G.’s Barbara Johnson and Marsha Kwalwasser.

Now hail to pols, cheers to every pundit

Who tries to determine how campaigns get funded.

Credit Don Bren, Bob Burkett, Margaret Brock,

Jack Valenti, Joyce Valdez, director Sidney Pollock.

Happy New Year TV’s Dwight Hemion, Nick Vanoff

Also Jimmy and Anne Murphy, Spago’s Barbara Lazaroff.

Good wishes to the Joffrey’s Felisa Vanoff.

Get well David Wolper. Best to Alan Arkatoff.

Happy holidays Tommy and Patty Skouras

And Councilman Joel Wachs, the RTD’s Nick Patsouras.

The Eds--Sanders and Carter--get to make a wish.

John Emerson got his--Donna Mills. Quite a dish.

Kudos activists Judy Miller, Rosemary Tomisch

Now try to get a table at Gladstone’s for Fish.

Another great year Betty Clooney Foundation--

With your friend Roz Wyman they’ll be no hesitation

To send our best wishes to Giorgio’s Fred Hayman

A real giver--and greetings to every layman

Who wrote a check for the homeless sometime this year.

That’s the way to make real the holiday cheer.

Santa please put toys in your bag

For Warren Beatty and Dick Rosenzweig.

For Dick’s Judy Henning, for Dr. Arnie Klein

For Marilyn and Alan Bergman, gifts all sublime.

For Davises all, Sammy, Bette, Altovise,

And don’t forget Marco and Joanie Weiss.

For Peggy Parker and Walter Grauman

For Mickey Kantor and Heidi Schulman,

Cheers Morton Phillips and his Abby Van B.

Merry Christmas Bob and Nancy Daly.

For Henry and Stacy Winkler pretty please

A very large box of chocolates from See’s.

Caterers Rococo, Along Came Mary, Somerset

You’ve ruined our diets. But we sure can bet

Wine expert Steve Wallace and parker Chuck Pick

Will be in the midst of each holiday schtick.

Bouquets David Jones, Bev Hills Jef, Flower Fashions

Milo Bixby, Stanley Kirsten. And noting our favorite passions--

Cheers columnists Army Archerd, George Christy, Joe Scott

And while listing “institutions” we like a lot

Greetings, Dr. Straatsma at the Jules Stein Eye Clinic

Your great work would melt the Scroogiest cynic.

Moviemakers Mike Eisner, Ted Field, Barry Diller

Good box office. And to Sherry Lansing, a thriller

That will match the draw of her “Fatal Attraction.”

For Lew Wasserman, we’re just happy that he’s back in action.

The Hollywood Women’s Political Committee

Needs some fund-raising activity under their tree.

Cheers, Deputy Mayor Mike Gage, his spouse Lacey

And to La Cage Aux Folles and its shows, quite racy.

To fotogs Lee Salem and Alan Berliner

Thanks for making those socialites pretty and thinner.

Cheers to all who have entered the world of TV

Our best Michael Tucker and Jill Eikenberry.

Hail publicists and flaks Linda Hunt, Richard Grant

Rachel McAllister, Joan Luther. Now let’s chant

A thank you to Arco’s Lod and Carol, the Cooks

Our library thanks him for “Saving the Books.”

Cheers to our pals at the Motion Picture Country Home.

Thanks Edie Wasserman--you know how to “take care of our own.”

Take a bow, busy people, Ron Olsen and Jane

And Santa, amidst the happiness, please deign

To remember the fight that grows, never fades

We hail those who battle that killer called AIDS--

Especially kudos David Mixner, Larry Springer, Diane Abbitt.

You show us the way to make giving a habit.

Thanks Barry Krost, Duke Comegys, Peter Scott

And Dr. Joel Weisman, you’ve done quite a lot.

Cheers Norman Lear and his bride, pretty Lynn,

Baby will make three. Hail Joan and Jack Quinn.

Cheers Loring and Jenny Jones Rutt, what a pair.

To United Friends of the Children. We know you care.

Santa grant every wish for the L.A. Free Clinic--

The good work of Mimi West let everyone mimic.

Cheers all good pals of Ron and Nancy

We know your Christmas will be stylish and fancy.

And Santa, for those that we’ve forgotten

Please put something special in a Christmas stocking.

And special goodies must surely go

To Jill Halverson and Alice Callaghan on Skid Row.

Remember, Santa, this seasonal rhyme

Is really the one and only time

For me to mention my two main men

And so before I make my Amen

Love to Michael Oates Palmer, my wonderful son.

And to my love, Robert Shrum, Merry Christmas. I’m done.